Having lived in the United States for over three decades while following the established Sikh practices, I have been fairly convinced that there is no need to sacrifice one for the other as both are not mutually exclusive. No body ever promised to us that the paths of our lives here would be laden with roses. In fact the prickly thorns with their sharp tips abounded all over the path and often times poked our feet perhaps more than what was feared. In view of poorly understood unique Sikh identities as result of our failure to impart proper knowledge, many major road blocks en-route at times transformed otherwise smooth journey into a painful sojourn. Yet with certain amount of strength and conviction one was and could overcome these hurdles and follow the prescribed requirements of the faith in a harmonious relationship with the culture around it. I didn't wake up one morning with this view rather it had gradually crept upon me based on my experience over a period of time. I am also cognizant of the fact that the culture of a minority group living in a multicultural society definitely gets modified under the influence of majority regardless of the liking or disliking of the former. After having spent half of my life in India as a member of the minority group and then migrating to US, I am further convinced that such a card in fact can be used by minority to its advantage.

One needs to recognize this fact that the western culture was fully established in North America prior to the landing of the minority groups on its shores. Immigrants came with their own baggage of a distinct culture putting them at a disadvantage. The difficult question that needs to be addressed is what exactly and how much of the back home culture and life style should immigrants voluntarily give up in order to avoid being labeled as exotically overbearing? In order to tackle the differences between two widely apart life styles, one that of the indigenous majority culture and the other that of an immigrant, will certainly require a careful and well-thought of approach. In the case of Sikhs it becomes even more critical in as much as not only it touches the very root of being, becoming and staying a Sikh but the culture and faith seems to be intertwined to the uninitiated. My answer to this difficult question is very simple. Those customs and traditions that are prevalent in the host-land but are not in direct contradiction to the true intrinsic values of minority faith should be accepted and adopted. While doing so one must make sure that the fundamentals of one's faith are not altered. Awareness of such a distinction goes a long way in allaying the subconscious but true fear about "de-identification" in the minds of people of minority groups especially Sikhs while they subtly incorporate the process of "assimilation" in the local majority culture.

It is no denying the fact that Sikhism in itself is a full fledged and independent religion. The ill-conceived notion amongst some people that Sikhs are often at odd with the western culture does not carry much weight if seen through a probing eye. In fact this perception seems to have culminated as a result of lack of dissemination of proper information about the true fundamentals of Sikh faith, not only to others but amongst the Sikhs themselves. In order to rectify this situation, certain corrective steps must be initiated by the Sikh Diaspora itself with an open and informed mind. While there are several issues that one could ponder upon, I would primarily limit my focus here on one issue that I was recently confronted with and it relates to Sikh names.

Sikhs have their own styles of "First Names" that are given by the parents at the birth of a child or some times thereafter, depending upon the circumstances. At the time of "Naming Ceremony" the first name is always chosen starting with a letter that happens to be the same as the first letter of "the Hukum" (Reading of a Shabad) from a random opening of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. This in fact is a well established requirement of Sikhs religion. But to the best of my knowledge as far as the first name itself goes, there does not seem to be an ordained code. Instead parents usually try to base it on many different variables such as Sikh spirituality, chivalry, Sikh history, traditions, prevalent culture or simple imitations of what others have been doing for no reasons at all. A given name or the "First Name" of a Sikh is followed by "Singh" (a Lion) for a baby boy and "Kaur" (a princess) for a baby girl again as per the ordained codes of Sikh faith and as such it needs to be adhered to. It makes the Sikhs feel proud and unique while it also helps them in maintaining their identity. The choice of this first name is what is under discussion here.

At the time of selection of the "First or given Name" the newly arrived immigrant parents, not fully conversant with the western culture or its subtle intricacies, often decide to settle on a name based on back-home culture. Such a name in fact might be too long, alien and difficult to pronounce for the indigenous population of this country in which they will have to live for the rest of their lives. Coupled with an alien background, skin color and other distinct characteristics, it could haunt them later on in as much as such names put the deserving Sikh children at a subtle disadvantage at the time of seeking admissions in professional colleges or competitive jobs. Obviously there is not a whole lot one could do about the background, skin color or other characteristics. Yet one could help ease the situation somewhat by paying a little attention in the selection of the first names. A lengthy and difficult-to-pronounce or spell "First or given Name' often leads children and their parents to avoid using such lengthy names. In fact such names end up being left reserved for official use only on legal documents i.e. driver licenses and social security numbers etc. In their place short, small and easy to pronounce the so-called "nick names" having nothing to do with the original full names, start taking over, a subtle yet sure untoward by-product of such a dilemma. It is a phenomenon that seems to be fairly common and well known amongst Indians both back home and here. Unfortunately it doesn't serve the intended purpose of having a full time "full name".

In my way of thinking there is a way for Sikh parents to fulfill both these obligations i.e. that of the religious needs as well as the societal perspective around them. When it comes to maintaining the ordained requirement of our faith, there could not be a second view. One should and must follow the established guidelines of seeking help from Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji in as far as the first letter of the first name is concerned and try not to tread on the domain of the such guidelines. The first name certainly ought to be followed by Singh or Kaur as the case might be. But so as far as the first name itself is concerned, I see no point in choosing such first names that are too long and difficult to pronounce for the American community at large. I do not however, intend to imply that one has to sacrifice the Sikh character of the first names. There are many beautiful first Sikh names out there containing not more than three to five letters with their roots ingrained in the Sikh history, culture, faith, traditions and language having full association with our Sikh scriptures yet simple enough for westerner to pronounce. Additionally one should attempt to spell them within the ground rules of American-English based on the input of one's American-born friends rather than back-home style English.

As far as I can imagine, majority of the children born and raised in western countries ultimately will live here amongst the multicultural and multi-ethnic societies. Some might question then, why could not we make this society learn about our names like we do for theirs? Certainly, it is a nice way to justify our ego and I sincerely hope that such were possible but unfortunately the practical ground realities do not tend to support such a wishful thinking. A simple perusal of the facts will bring home the truth. And the truth is that discrimination due to color, name and language is going to persist in any multi-cultural and multi-ethnic community regardless of the goody-goody upfront put forth by the majority of a given country. One only needs to turn one's eyes to the pages of past history and look at the fates of other minorities in this country or elsewhere in the world including the not so distant events that happened in mid eighties in India. Certain things in life never change. Therefore as stated above, cautious awareness and introduction of a novel thought process that makes life easier for Sikh Diaspora within the established limits of Sikh faith should be fully encouraged. Such efforts will help our future generations live their lives to the fullest without violating religious boundaries. Even if one prospective Sikh parent could see through my point of view, I will consider myself honored and my efforts will turn out to be well placed and fully rewarded.