Few characteristics of human nature have been responsible for disturbing the social order and human stability and perhaps the most destructive characteristic of all is EGO or haumey. Ego has been identified as being responsible for religious wars, national and geographical conflicts and for individual prejudices. Ego is the destructive extension of pride and begins where pride ends. Pride is known as "swaimaan" and ego is known as "swaiabhimaan". While pride has some redeemable value in terms of motivation and self-actualization, ego has none.
Ego is a concept, which emphasizes importance of self to such a degree where self becomes the center of a person’s universe and attention. It is gradual but progressive enlargement of self until the distinction between the self and the world becomes blurred and at its ultimate, the self becomes the world. This importance of self creates a vacuum between the self and others and the self considers itself higher than others. This distance becomes the cause of hatred and conflict, which ultimately drives a wedge among humans as well as between a human and the Supreme Being.
From our religious point of view, a self-centered person is known as "manmukh", which indicates the state of man in which his self-will and animal propensities dominate as against the concept of "gurmukh", a God-centered person who has achieved the highest level of consciousness. Ego or haumay is also equated with "maya", where maya is an illusion, which significantly deviates from reality, and this illusion becomes a part of ego and the true purpose of life becomes totally distorted. Guru Ji says that "in ego there is "maya".. Haun wich maya haun wich chaya. (AGGS – 466).
Since the evil side of man is the cause of all problems, it will be reasonable to justify haumey as evil. This evil is not beyond repair. The man is definitely capable of transcending this state of constitution and our Gurus clearly show us the path to transcend this evil imperfection.
Since the dawn of time, mankind has been looking within to understand the meaning and purpose of life as is. The question that has always claimed our attention is whether life happened by chance as a part of evolution when the right mixture of life sustaining elements such as air, water, hospitable environment and so on emerged as a biological process, so that we are born, spend time on earth and then die as an end to the process or whether the life came into being as a part of spiritual process initiated by God Himself when He created the universe and created man in His own image for the specific purpose of eventual unification with Him. Whatever the evolutionary theorists or religious promoters believe in and whatever the purpose of life may be, one thing is definite and that is that we all want to have a peaceful life, a stable society, mental satisfaction and spiritual enhancement. All religions have suggested various ways to achieve these goals and practically all the routes suggested are through spiritual understanding of our being. Some religions have emphasized rewards for good behavior (heaven) and punishment for bad behavior (hell) and invariably good behavior is linked with love for God and acceptance of His Will. Some religions have introduced the concept of soul, which will merge with God (Atma merging into Parmatma) for good behavior and reincarnation into various forms of life and consequent suffering for bad behavior. In this approach also, good and bad behaviors are defined in terms of guidelines set by such religions.
The Sikh religion emphasizes our goal of life to be eventual immersion with God, the Infinite to avoid coming into the cycle of life and death, such cycle consisting of four categories. These categories being;
All these categories are considered to be the life of suffering and hence the need for getting out of this cycle and be one with God for eternal happiness and no suffering. It is debatable whether the goal is merging with God, which can only be achieved by being a good person or whether the goal is being a good person, which can easily be achieved by being a God-fearing person. Whatever the case may be, being a good person is necessary irrespective of whether it is a goal or a path to the goal.
Our Gurus enumerate five principle classes of vices. These are:
All these evils generate negative energy and are detrimental to goodness and decency. All of these evils when taken to excess influence deterioration of body and mind and take us farther away from the direction of our purpose of life. No matter what measure we use, the ultimate goal of life is decent and truthful living. (Sachohn ohrey sabh ko upper sach achar). It must be understood that while all evils hinder the spiritual growth of the individual, it is the fifth evil, namely, haumey, which is the most problematic and the first four evils can also be considered as aggressive manifestations of haumey which results in the inability of man to see others as his equals and to consider the other’s point of view with understanding and respect.
Our Guru Ji has brandished these evils as five thieves and thieves only take away what is dear to us. "Is dehi maiin panch chor basae, Kam, Krodh, Lobh, Moh, Ahankar". A true Sikh asks the blessings of Waheguru in getting rid of these vices. "Kam Krodh, aur Lobh, Moh, binas jae ahamev". God I seek thy protection: dispel lust, anger, greed, attachment and ego. Guru Ji further states that these thieves can be disarmed by the blessings of the Guru. (Nihathey punj jawan main Gur thapi diti kand jeon and Panjey badhey mahabali kar sacha dhoa)…. I had stated earlier that the first four vices have some redeemable value and are necessary to some degree to lead a practical and normal life and our religion recognizes that aspect, Only in excess, these vices become destructive. It will be useful to comment briefly on these vices and deal with ego in more detail.
Gurbani is very clear about the ill effects of ego on the egotist in particular and on society in general. Ego is equated with serious and severe illness and in order to get well, this illness has to be removed from its roots. Guru Ji has clearly identified ego as a "deeragh rog". haumey deeragh rog hai…(AGGS 466) and haumey rog mahan dukh laga…. (AGGS 906). Just as a serious physical illness disrupts the normal living pattern, similarly, ego, as a severe mental disease disrupts the orderly, decent and ethical living. "Jab eh man menh karat gumana, tab eh bawar phirat bigana" (AGGS 235. Similarly Guru Ji says, "Man antar haumey rog hai, bharam bhulay manmukh durjaney". (AGGS 301). Ego is the disease of the mind.
Gurbani has further made it clear that being a good human being and being an egotist are not compatible with each other. In fact, even if you are a very good person, all this goodness has no value if such goodness is tainted with ego, especially if you have ego about your goodness. "Teerath barat ar daan kar, man men dharey guman, Nanak nehfal jaat hay jeon kunchar isnan". (AGGS 1428). Guru Arjan says "Chatar siana sughar soi jin tajya abhiman" (AGGS 298). Not only is the person who has killed ego is wise but also mentally and spiritually healthy. "Khudi miti tab such bhaiey, man tan bhaiy arog" (AGGS 260). Guru Arjan Dev Ji gave so much importance to humility that he declared any one who killed haumey as the greatest soldier and defender of decency in the entire world. "Nanak so sura waryam jin wichon dushat ahankar maria" (AGGS 104).
Having discovered and diagnosed the disease, the pertinent question now is how this haumey can be eliminated? Gurbani has suggested three ways, each way culminating in replacing ego with the "non-ego"
First, Gurbani says that the cure lies within the disease. "haumey deeragh rog hai, daru bhi is mahen" (AGGS 466). The main emphasis is on how to evolve one’s self to transcend the ego. When a person looks critically at haumey and how it destroys the self, who is a part of God, he learns to transcend from self-centeredness to God-centeredness and to identify his individual consciousness with the cosmic consciousness. We further observe a number of situations where " ego hath a fall". When such a fall occurs, the person suddenly wakes up and changes his behavior.
The second route to eliminating ego is to understand the benefits of humility. Egotists are never humble and truly humble people are not egotistical. Guru Arjan Ji states that more humble a person is, the higher is his status. "Aapus ko jo janey neecha, sou ganiey subh tey uncha" (AGGS 266). Similarly Guru Nanak Ji says, "Jeh lorey changa apna, kar punuh neech sadaiey". (AGGS 465). Accordingly, humility breeds respect and decency and slowly destroys ego.
The third route to get rid of ego is to find the enemy of ego and make this enemy as your friend. This is true in practical life also. Suppose that you have a friend who has become a nuisance and you want to get rid of him and in a manner, which is not rude and hostile. You find out as to who is the enemy of your friend and make this enemy as your friend and invite him to your house on a regular basis. When your first friend hears about it, he will not come to your house because he will not sit next to his enemy in your house. Now we have to find the enemy of ego so that we can befriend this enemy to get rid of the ego. We do not have to look far for this enemy. Guru Ji has already found it for us. The enemy of ego is NAAM. "haumey nanwey naal virodh hai, doey nan wassey ik thaen", (AGGS 560). The more we become friends with Naam, the less we will see ego, until it completely disappears. Once Naam becomes completely integrated within our life and mind, the door for ego to enter will be permanently closed. The presence of Naam in our hearts is the presence of God and God does not like ego. "Har jeo ahankaar na bhaviey ved kook sunavey"…. War Maru Mahala 3.
As has been explained, ego is not to be embraced, because God does not approve of it and Guru Ji explains that the person with humility is higher than all others and a person with ego is lower than all others. But what, if any, is the practical advantage to us in our worldly living if we get rid of ego. Yes, there is a realistic and practical benefit.
One thing that we all desire, above all, is respect and appreciation by others, even behind our back. No matter how high we are in financial and social status, we are not happy if others have a poor opinion of us. Guru Arjan Ji specifies that if we want praise from others, which we do, and then we must get rid of ego and keep company of good people. "Jey ko apni sobha lorey, sadh sang eh haumey chhorey".
Let us pledge with our mind and soul today, that such destructive forces as ego will not be allowed to enter our mind and it will not enter our mind if our mind is already filled with Naam and there is absolutely no room left for ego to enter and settle in.