We live in a World that is totally addicted to fantasy - this is true in India, this is true in the USA. We dream about stars, we soak up TV and movies and pulp fiction. We like pretending to be someone else, for a spell, because being ourselves is too hard, and too hopeless. Our lives are very unromantic and we long for LOVE to sweep all our troubles away. We pray Prince Charming or Krishna will arrive and explain how we were part of a baby switch and actually we are from a high class/caste family with endless power and money, thus all our problems are GONE. And Prince Charming is very attractive and he wants to marry me. I am his Raddha!

Yes, fantasy is often a wonderful drug for when we are in pain, and the World is in a lot of pain right now. Believe me, I do not wish to deny any of us our moderate novel or sport or theatrical performance, yet I feel that we must understand that fantasy is very very powerful. Let us particularly consider the romantic fantasies of women.

Think about Elvis (or some popular celebrity within your culture). Given a reasonable assessment of Elvis and his talent, I might say, "Elvis was an OK musician, with a great voice and he had lots of rock and roll in his soul."

But in truth Elvis, in the USA, is much much MORE than the guy named Elvis ever was. Elvis is GOD, Elvis is King, Lord!

People actually say things like that here in the USA, and everyone laughs and smiles. It isn't exactly a SERIOUS ideology - but it is really POWERFUL, none the less. And Elvis IS the object of devotion for the many people who are part of his personality cult.

Why? What is that about?

Again, it has lots to do with women's (specifically) fantasy life. Back in the 50s had USA young women taken one look at Elvis and said , "Ick! What a wimp!" history would have taken a different direction. Instead the women went WILD and Elvis became ELVIS!

"Maybe Elvis will drive by in his Caddy and sweep me away from these chores, away from my husband who ignores me and my child who locks himself away in his room and won't talk to me....."

Women's fantasy is very powerful and women are addicted to fantasy. Fantasy keeps us stuck, keeps us from facing our fears and actively changing our lives. And the biggest fantasy of all, the PRIME FANTASY we love to dream is that men are going to save our lives, and the life of this planet.

DING DONG! Wake up! Smell the Chai!

Men have been in charge for many many years and they are not succeeding. The good guys are not in fact fighting the bad guys and winning. The romantic epic hero-victorius Happy Ending where someday the good-guys will win over the bad-guys is a FANTASY and we are all still addicted to it.

Truth is, my Sisters, that we are our own HEROs. The only Sant or Baba or Rock Star or Movie Star or Prince Charming that is going to save women's lives is you and me embracing reality and working hard and courageously at changing each and every one of our lives, for REAL, each and every day.

Some men TRULY wish to help us - but they can't SAVE us.

Beyond this, for Sikh women it is against our religion to fantasize and get goopy devotional towards human men, near or far. Men who deserve our respect don't need or desire or accept our dreamy-eyed surrender and slavish service, foot massaging and unpaid secretarial skills. Good men, especially good Sikh men, give more than they take to their marriages, children and communities.

Thankfully, cult leaders don't get anywhere, don't succeed in the least, without their Gopis and groupies. Therefore Sikh women simply don't participate in hero-worship/idol-worship. We control our romantic/sexual energy (as symbolized in our Sikh underwear). Sikh women fight personality cults; we don't help create them. We understand the power of our devotion, and we choose to invest that devotion into the Siri Guru Granth Sahib only. This, of course, GRACES us with Divine appreciation and REAL, not fantasy, life transformations.